Finally, Robotic Beings Rule the World

Dearest Readers,
This week, technology has jumped on the Goldilocks bandwagon. Please allow me to explain. Many looked at a hefty laptop and thought ‘too big,’ many held the miniscule iPod and thought ‘too small,’ so the clever men at apple invented the iPad. It’s a laptop/i-pod all-in-one-really-strange-halfway-in-between-like size. Now don’t get me wrong, the iPad has the coolest features known to man, ranging from books at your finger tips to the ability to search the internet with its own touch keyboard, and as a college student, I appreciate their low price of only $499 for the beauty; However, I am a bit concerned about the general layout. It’s an approximately 10 by 8 inches screen. Hmmm, I have two qualms with this: how the heck do you carry it, and how do you protect the screen? As a person with a serious case of the dropsies, what’s a girl to do when apple says ‘psh, forget being able to close it, let’s just leave it open…all the time.’ Oh dear. And 10 by 8, while fitting the goldilocks standard, isn’t really a convenient size. I can fit it in my purse, but I could carry my laptop in one anyway and men don't carry purses, and I definitely can’t fit it in my pocket and neither can men, where I always keep my iPod. Men are in trouble. Now here’s my theory, Apple with all of its glorious power will invent a new form of bag specifically for the iPad (that somehow men will buy). And it will be popular, because it’s Apple. Mark my words people, regardless of my qualms with the product, millions will rush to buy it without a second thought to my concerns (tut tut).
Lesson to be learned: Apple rules the world, and will release not only a line of bags for the iPad, but will continue to invent a torrent of oddly shaped screens that people will buy.
That being said, I always was a goldilocks person myself…but what can google offer me…
Deviously,
Adorkable

How to Save a Life

Dearest Readers,
Unfortunately, it's true that you never really know how you will act in an emergency situation, until an emergency situation. I would like to believe that I would rip off my top layer of clothing to reveal my alter-ego superwoman outfit, and with one fell swoop, I would save the day. I realize this is impractical, but seriously, I'd settle for catwoman.
During my 8 am Journalism Class many students stumble in half-conscious with a cup of coffee a mile high. Most arrive 5 to 10 minutes late. Grumbling. My teacher, I won't name out of respect, is an elderly but vivacious woman. It seemed to be an ordinary day, but this is about the time when the danger music would begin to play ominously in the background.
During the middle of our lesson, my teacher began struggling to form words. She's older, however, so this isn't extremely unusual. She seemed to regain her train of thought, but as we moved on to our next assignment, she put her head down on her desk. Someone asked if she was okay, and she began trying to tell us she was going to have to excuse class due to physical ailments. Before she could finish, she closed her eyes and had to grab the chalkboard for stability. *MOMENT OF PANIC*
It was pretty amazing to watch the class jump into action. Three students near her rushed to her side, while another student and I ran into the hall. Racing down the steps, my heart was pounding and all could think was HOLY [INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE].
I could barely form words myself when I talked to the secretary who instructed another to call 9-1-1. We raced upstairs, and found my teacher trying to give us our homework assignment with a facial expression I can only describe as barely masking fear. She was determined to tell the students not to worry about her. Class was dismissed.
Don't worry, dear readers, she had what they say is a minor stroke, but she is okay and recovering. She is no longer teaching my class, and she is living with her daughter now trying to find the cause to prevent future problems.
My class had actually helped save a life and had not panicked in a moment of crisis.
Lesson to be learned here: You can't always be superwoman, but you can still help save the day.
Forever Yours,
Adorkable

You Would Cry Too, If It Happened to You

Dearest Readers,
I never thought it could happen to me. I was robbed. Don’t worry; it’s probably not what you think. No one attacked me at gunpoint or any craziness like that; however, it was a frightening tale of woe that has led to my now permanent distrust of humanity (okay slight exaggeration but still).
I was studying dutifully on the seventh floor of Alden Library. For those of you who have never been there, it is the best floor of the library ever. The tables are right next to the huge glass windows allowing you to see out for miles. I was minding my own business, when I had to print meaning I had to go the center of the seventh floor. Leaving my notebooks strewn in a disorderly mess on the table, my backpack on the ground, and my laptop on the table, I employed my friend at a nearby table to watch my belongings.
After printing took longer than expected (of course it did, it’s alden), my friend had to leave for class, so I told her I’d be back for my stuff in a minute. However, nature called, so I grabbed my laptop and headed to the bathroom. PLEASE NOTE MY MISTAKE HERE: leaving the rest of my belongings on my table unattended. Upon my return, the table was just as I’d left it and I returned to my homework, but when I went to grab for my backpack I discovered it was MISSING. *MOMENT OF PANIC*
Now, I normally am irrational so I tried to calm myself as I hard-core sprinted through the stacks in search of my missing bag. As I realized this was not a cruel joke, the truth hit me. I had been robbed. Not only that, but on my most beloved of floors. Oh cruel fate!
After tears in the bathroom, and a panicked questioning of all those who happened to be on the seventh floor at the time (my apologies, because in my mind I was accusing all of you), I had to go to class. Luckily, all that was in my backpack of any importance was my i-pod. Still…ouch.
Three hours later I returned to the library with friends, and stumbled upon none other than my backpack!!! Granted, it was ransacked and pilfered and left in the midst of the seventh floor stacks. My i-pod was gone, along with my drivers license, and 15 dollars of cash. The rest was left! Oh joyous day! I know it seems strange, but I felt so blessed in that moment.
When someone steals from you, you don’t feel that upset about what they took, but more, that someone could invade your privacy so easily. It shakes you. When my things were (mostly) returned, I was just pleased to have the little things that mean nothing to the thief, but a lot to me: some orange ginger hand lotion, my classy water bottle.
Lesson to be learned here: It can happen to anyone. Watch your stuff!
Sincerely,
Adorkable

Alma Mater, Ohio

Dearest Readers,
A note of explanation: A good writer writes every day and learns from trial and error. A good writer tries and fails and returns with bigger words and better concepts. I suppose all I am trying to accomplish in this blog is the improvement of my writing skills and a minute understanding of the daunting world of online journalism. For you the audience, I understand that this seems to be a self-centered enterprise, which I can't refute, but I can promise you some comedic relief. And hey, maybe once in a while, you will learn from my freshman mistakes (of which there are many).
A note on formatting: Every post will be titled with a fitting song lyric, a salutation and sign off, and will be categorized in some way for your personal enjoyment. I make writing mistakes all the time, especially when it comes to grammar, so bear with me. I'm reading a grammar guide. Sadly, that is not a joke. I will try to keep my posts reasonably short, since I will be attempting to post at least once a week.
As for the rest, you will learn with me. :)
Sincerely,
Adorkable