Dearest Readers,You enter a new meeting. What you say: Hi I’m [insert your name here,] and I’m new. What you mean: I’m super fabulous and you should all want to be friends with me but seriously I’m just desperate so please like me! We’ve all been there. We’ve all had to be … new … my mind shudders at the thought.
Now granted, there are perks that come with being able to recreate your identity. The majority of the time, however, being new is just a rough experience of trying not to pander to new authority but gaining their respect, trying to find new people to chat with, and coming off as self-confident but not egotistical. It’s a work out for sure … I’m worn out just thinking about it.
I am not claiming to be any expert on the topic, but as a freshman in college, I have some authority on the subject. I know we’ve all heard the classics clichés on how to fit in and be the most beloved person on day number one, but lets be real, we all want to know what really works. So here’s my handy How To: Be New (see how that rhymes … please take a moment to giggle and appreciate my work here ... now moving on) for those who are going to be new or those who have been new and merely think it is humorous to learn of my many mistakes:
1. Don’t be a know-it-all: For those of you who know me, I hope you are giggling because you must know how difficult this is for me to say. Yes, I was that girl who raised her hand in middle school to answer every question. Yes, I learned the hard way. Even if you really do know a ton about the class/subject/collegiate life/what have you, don’t tell people about it. No one wants to be friends with the kid who already knows everything. You make friends by slogging through the learning process together, kapish? (Ps. This is not to say don’t act passionate … definitely do, just don’t let the world know all of your previous knowledge right away.)
2. Act like you have other friends (because hopefully you do): This is a tenuous piece of advice, because you can’t act like you have too many friends because then you are inapproachable and intimidating. What I am saying is, if you are on campus and see someone you know, even only a little, wave at them. People want to know that you are normal. Text sometimes. Friend people on Facebook. I know that sounds sad, but seriously, we all know we want to be friends with people who have social skills.
3. Don’t be a creeper: Now look here people, I am all for befriending strangers (some people have the ability to do this without coming across as a crazy), but don’t be desperate. Compliment people on what they are wearing or point out a book they are reading that you have read before (yes I did just use two totally dorky examples … what can I say I’m a nerd). But make the comment and move on. No one wants to be stuck making awkward conversation for the next three minutes until class starts. However, next time you see this person wave subtly. If you receive no response, move on to other people. Exception: beginning of freshman year this rule doesn’t apply, because everyone is so desperate for friends sometimes being a creeper actually helps.
4. Don’t let out all your crazy all at once: This is another one that all of you who know me show guffaw at, because I am kind of … well … a lot o’ crazy. So let’s just say, I know this one from real life experience and leave it at that. We all know that we have a little (or a lot of) crazy in us, but let’s just try to be normal for day one. I am not saying change yourself for others, but I’m going to be real here: Reel them in by your adorable and seemingly normal behavior and let your crazy slowly reveal itself. If you reveal all of your crazy, you have reached true friendship! Hazzah! Well done!
So there it is, I know only 4 steps!! (But let’s be real here, I just can’t hold your attention span for much longer anyway). But coming from a girl who grew up for 12 years in the same place, where I led or was freakishly overactive in most activities I was involved with (I already admitted I’m a nerd, so why not just let it flourish), I know first hand how hard it is to walk the halls and realize you don’t know every face passing you by and how difficult it is when you enter a meeting, and everyone doesn’t say hello and ask you to make plans this weekend. It’s weird, and I myself am still learning.
Lesson to be learned: All of us have to be new at some point, but you work your way up to being experienced, or at least comfortable, faster than you think. You can’t obsess or stop yourself from joining something for fear of the unknown. Because logically, you can’t get over being new until you work you’re way up and then you’re … not new. I know, I know, intelligent statement. But hey, I’m new at blogging so cut me some slack! ;)
Newly yours,
Adorkable
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